Thursday, December 6, 2007


I got an e-mail from a friend today. It had the tagline "Because I care..." Then it was this:

Heaven has sent you an angel.

Heaven didn't want her, so they sent her to me. I don't want her, so I'm sending her to you!

I responded, of course I did:

"Hey there: I know that this e-mail was supposed to be silly andfunny, but to someone who is obese, it feels a little like it's making fun of me and people my size. My body doesn't look like that, but S' body looks very similar. I find her beautiful. I'm not sending this to make you feel bad but to hopefully just raise your awareness that such things can impact people in another way. So I'll be keeping this angel because I want her. Peace, Spins"

Now that I've sent it, I wish I'd worded it more strongly. I was so horrified at this. I can't believe that someone could send this and not see how offensive it was. Even more so because the woman in the picture is so obviously fierce and proud of her body.

I recently had an experience with the person where I was left feeling invisible. I thought this was a random experience that was partly due to miscommunication. But again, I feel invisible and I wonder if the appelation of friend is appropriate, if she cannot really see me.

I hope, at least, that she can see what I wrote and take it in.


Hyde said...

I think the letter made your point beautifully. And this shouldn't only be offensive to fat people. Being a good person, to me, means trying to see the face of God in every human being, looking at people as an ends unto themselves and not as a means. This kind of humor is insulting to my own notion of what it means to be humane.


vesta44 said...

I've gotten emails similar to that one, with pictures of fat people and the OMG! caption making a joke. I usually just delete them, but I think I'm going to take a page from your book and email the senders that it's not appreciated with a statement as to why. thanks for posting about this.

Queen B said...

I would have been offended, too... glad you said something. Good for you!

Fatadelic said...

I think you handled it well; diplomatic but firm. Evidently the person who sent that to you isn't quite ready to hear the fat/size acceptance message, but they are certainly in need of learning good manners and taste.

Evergrey said...

I'm keeping her too!

Mary said...

I'll keep her too, she looks a lot like me, and I love me. :)

Anarielle said...

I think your response was fantastic! It was extremely eloquent and thought provoking without being confrontational enough to get people's backs up.

If every fat person had the guts to stand up to this kind of thing the way you did, we'd be well on the way to true fat acceptance.